Don't Miss Me When I'm Gone (Kiss Me Instead)
by nattopetansky
Summary: here have this k plus for kissing i dont know k plus for death maybe im a weenie


Even when Komaeda was hooked up to a machine for support, he was still smiling as though nothing were wrong. Even as his breath became more labored, all he did was smile.

And Hinata Hajime hated it.

Why is it that the damn boy didn't care? Why is it that he thought he deserved this?

Every day, Hinata would go to the hospital. Possibly change out the flowers on his bedside, talk to the sick boy, tell him stories about his day. Most of the time when Hinata visited, Komaeda was asleep. If the boy looked peaceful awake, he looked deadly peaceful asleep. Sometimes his eyebrows would furrow and Hinata's breath would hitch, like he had done something wrong. But the white-haired boy always went back to his coma like state.

When Komaeda was awake, he was feverish and he couldn't sleep. But that didn't stop him from smiling as calmly as ever. He would ramble on to Hinata about things that never happened and about how even when he dies, Hinata should overcome despair and keep going. Hinata hated seeing him awake. As relieved as he was seeing him alive, Komaeda often would forget things. Not just details or names, but big things. Often he would re-introduce himself to Hinata, claiming that he didn't know who he was. He had trouble coordinating his hands and legs, making it impossible for him to go anywhere. He swung between stages of eating everything in site to eating nothing at all. And all Hinata could do was watch him deteriorate.

Komaeda Nagito was awake, and watching Hinata. His eyes were glossed over and his hands were playing with the bed sheets; this was another worrying quirk that Hinata had discovered in Komaeda's hospital time. Hinata told him about school again, and again, and again. Hinata would tell him about the Super High School students one by one. Explaining their talent and what they looked like. Their personalities and all. He always felt uncomfortable discussing the elite, since he had always been jealous as a reserve student, but he swallowed his pride as he described them again, and again, and again.

During his stories, Komaeda always remained silent, which is why when Komaeda whispered something out of breath, Hinata stopped, staring right at Komaeda's ghostly pale lips.

"What did you say, Komaeda?" he asked, a slight shock carrying into his words.

Komaeda took a deep breath and shakily said, "I don't deserve you."

In that moment, Hinata got angry. His frustration boiled up and realized how much he hated him. Hated him for being beautiful and kind and endearing and for dragging him down the rabbit-hole. Hated him for not understanding how much Hinata loved his quirks and how much he deserved to live. "No, you know what? You're right! I don't deserve to put up with you! There's not a single resting moment where you're crushing my heart with your self-deprecating lies or your insane smile!" Komaeda's eyebrows furrowed like he was concentrating. "I don't have to put up with you. But why do I? Because I love you you sick fuck!" Hinata's voice cracked on the last word and his chest began to swell. He felt a biting behind his eyes but he swallowed his tears and stared him straight in the eyes. "And there's not a single moment I regret ever loving you."

At this, Komaeda's hand shot up, grabbing the brown-haired, angry boy by the collar and pulled him towards his lips. And he kissed. Hinata felt no heat coming from the boy, just cold. apologetic lips. But Hinata kissed him anyway. He wrapped his arms around the sick, frigid boy and kissed him, letting Komaeda take the lead. The cold didns face. Despite Komaeda being in a hospital gown in a room that smelled of cleaning products and death, it was the most passionate kiss Komaeda had ever given him. And therefore, Hinata's favorite.

Komaeda stopped.

When Hinata realized the boy had stopped kissing, he pulled back and stared. Komaeda's eyes were gently closed, tears came to rest on his cheeks, which were as white as sheet. His mouth was drawn into an apathetic line and his breath was-

His breath-

Tears beginning to form in Hinata's eyes, he stared and the monitor hooked up to Komaeda. The vitals had gone blank. Maybe I accidentally unplugged it, Hinata thought frantically. He checked the boys pulse, put a hand under his nose, slapped him and with tears blocking his view he pecked him on the lips. They were cold and chapped.

Uncontrollably Hinata began to cry and grit his teeth, beating his hands on the bed then on his boyfriends chest.


End file.
